


Dream Escape

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars The Force Awakens
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Assisted Suicide, Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Murder-Suicide, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-04-26 13:23:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14403030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Poe has bad dreams that turn into more than just bad dreams. How can he escape the "nightmares" and will he ever be happy again?Please read all the tags and do not read this story if you can't handle everything that is going to be in it. I really don't want to trigger anyone!





	1. Fire and Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Please read all the tags, and don't read this story unless you can handle everything that is in here.  
> WARNING___ For Torture, Dark Thought Processes, Suicide Contemplation, and following through with Suicide. Repeatedly.
> 
> Poe has no idea what is going on. All he knows is it hurts.

At night Poe would wake up sweating and trying to catch his breath. He had been having nightmares every night since he had escaped from the First Order. He was always being tortured by that bastard Kylo Ren. 

During the day, he would find himself zoning out of conversations and as a result started avoiding his friends. He would sit for hours staring at a drink in the canteen, and just brood. He would stay awake for as long as possible to avoid the nightmares. 

The lack of good sleep just made the days worse. He was getting sick of it. Not to mention the fact that he was literally making himself sick. He was fed up with the night mares, with the fear of sleep, and with all the damn noise on base.

He had been trying to survive like this for weeks now, and his friends were beginning to notice. Kare Kun called him on it one day. She wasn't in his face about it she just asked if he was okay. He shrugged and said ya, and that was the end of that.

He walked to his room that night and thought about trying to sleep. He really didn't want to. And taking sleeping pills never really gave him restful sleep anyways. They just made sure he was asleep. Sleep and rest are two completely different things. Poe should know. 

He decided to just not have nightmares anymore. He didn't think that his decision would really change anything, but at this point it was worth a shot. He downed three sleeping pills, crawled into bed after an exhausting day, and pulled the blanket up, struggling to fall asleep. 

The nightmares were always the same. He knew exactly what would happen next. Kylo Ren would walk in, calmly rip his mind apart, and all Poe could do was stare at the lifeless mask that covered the face of a man he had never seen.

Poe was done. He struggled against the restraints. He felt them dig into his arms, wrists, and ankles. He screamed at the empty room. The terror flew through his veins and his heart pounded behind his ribs. He pulled and pulled and finally he stopped. "It's just a dream." He whispered to the wall... "It's just a dream." he said louder. Then the door silently opened and in walked the black shrouded man. Poe was done. He screamed, "It's just a dream!" he thrashed and pulled, and the straps never moved.

"Is it?" was what the masked figure said. That was new. Poe froze the horror of what Kylo Ren had just said. The words taking their good sweet time to sink in. The black walls seemed to pulse in time with Poe's heartbeat, and he started to panic again, the feeling of being stuck too much to handle.  

Suddenly everything he looked at began to spin, tilt, or move in some way, but not the mask. The mask just looked at him. It never moved. Poe didn't want to be here. He needed to get out. He surged forwards, throwing his full weight against the grip of metal on his body. 

His panic filled eyes caught the movement of the figures hand and reeled back in fright, "No!" he choked out, not wanting to have his head torn apart again. Instead of gripping his head, the force wrapped around his body and threw it against the upright restraining table, holding Poe inplace. 

That didn't stop Poe from straining his muscles to try and escape. The dreams, well... nightmares, had never gone like this before. Before they were just his sleep deprived brain recalling the events of something that had happened, and that Poe would rather like to forget. But this time it was different. It felt real somehow. This time, the pain was real, and he was awake. He didn't know what was going on. He was gasping for breath after his struggle to free himself, and slumped against the table in reluctant surrender. 

"Shall I search your thoughts again Commander?"

Poe's voice was hoarse from screaming and he tried to find a response that would help hide his terror, but his fear addled brain refused to respond properly. "N-no." he stuttered. "No mo-re." his head fell down and limply rested against his chest. How was it possible to be asleep and still feel so tired?

"Perhaps something new is in better taste this time." the flat, mechanical voice said emotionlessly.

It would have been better if the voice seemed to enjoy what he was doing. It would give Poe something to hold onto. Something to hate. But maybe the voice knew that. 

Poe didn't think he could fight anymore. He just couldn't. After weeks of remembering the torture, and violation while aboard the First Order flagship, the Finalizer, he just couldn't take anymore. He was physically fit , but his mind was struggling for air that it couldn't find. It was like he was endlessly floating in the vacuum of space. Forever stuck between feeling pain, and never tasting death. 

Kylo Ren took a step closer and raised some kind of syringe to Poe's neck. He gave up. "Please." he choked, holding back a sob and squeezing his eyes closed. Tears tracking through the dreamscape dirt on his face. Fear thrilled through his chest as he felt the tip of the needle brush lightly against the tender skin. 

 Then the needle was roughly pushed in and Poe sucked in a breath, gasping despite the fact that it was to late to change the figures mind, "Please no. Stop. I can-" he rushed and then his breath was cut off by the feeling that radiated through his body. 

It felt like his blood was on fire. The shock tore through him and Kylo Ren released his hold on Poe. Despite his exhaustion Poe couldn't help but continue thrashing. The agonizing pain rushed through him and he sobbed incoherently. "Please, please, stop! Make it stop!"

He grit his teeth and suddenly the feeling of fire changed to ice, and it was a thousand times worse. The sweat that had accumulated on his forehead, suddenly felt like it had frozen in place. He could feel the cool metal on his back and wrapping around his wrists and ankles. He screamed as his blood froze. He shivered and recoiled from everything that his skin touched. The fact that he couldn't actually get away from the restraints lost on his pain filled, terrified mind. 

And then the figure left. Just silently turned around and walked out of the room without another word. Poe watched him leave through blurry eyes and cried out for him to come back. Somehow it was worse to be alone. Even if the only other option was to be with the one inflicting the pain.

Poe continued to pull at the restraints, his body getting weaker. He could almost see the strength leaving his body it was so distinct.

The metal straps clicked open and Poe fell to his knees in-front of the table before it disappeared. The pain changed again. Going back to the fire. He screamed again. "It's just a dream! Wake up! It's just a dream!" He tried to get away from the pain, only succeeding in writhing around on the floor. He used the last of his strength to crawl to the corner farthest from the door and collapsed in a heap sobbing.


	2. Nothing Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now Poe thinks he is ready to deal with it.

Poe woke up and frantically looked around. He was still in the cell! How could he still be in the cell?! This was supposed to be a dream!!

He jumped up and tried to run to the door but his body was barely recovered from the effects of the drug that Kylo Ren had injected him with. He fell back to his knees and realized his hands were shaking. As a matter of fact, pretty much his whole body was shaking. 

He finally made it over to where he had thought the door had been, only to find that there was no door. He turned his head franticly to inspect the other walls but came up empty. Just four walls, a floor, and a ceiling. He was in a box. 

His heart rate sped up again and he blinked, trying to make sense of the messed up situation. It wasn't working. His mind was still so groggy from the pain. And he was so tired! Like seriously! If this was all in his head then how was he so kriffing tired?! 

The metal box was empty except for him and he moved to sit, leaning against the wall for support. The cool metal still felt very cold against his skin. The after effects of the drug must mean that his body is overly sensitive. His brain thought, trying despite the circumstances to make sense of the situation.

He tried to rest his head against the wall, but when he would attempt to relax his neck, his head would fall to the side. So he just rested his head on his chest and waited for whatever was going to happen next. 

He decided that after what had happened the night before, or is it still the same night? Poe wasn't sure. He must have passed out from the pain and exhaustion. The terror may also have had a hand in it. Anyways, he decided that after what had happened, he was more prepared to handle whatever came next.

And Poe was right, he probably would have been able to handle anything. That is, if anything had happened.  

He just kept waiting... and waiting... and waiting. 

After a while, he moved to stretch out on the floor, cushioning his head with his arms. "I suppose I should be grateful that this time I'm alone." he said out loud. He jumped at the sound of his own voice. It sounded so weird in the hollow room, bouncing back and forth off the bare metal.

And then he waited for someone to respond to the sound. Nothing happened. Poe strained his ears to hear if anything was coming. But all he could hear was the sound of his own breathing. He re-positioned his leg and the material brushing across the floor sounded like a shout in the enclosed space.

He resorted to staring at the wall. If his mind wanted to play that game, then he was going to win. He had been captured and held in isolation before. He knew that all he had to do was wait.

Then the wall moved. 

No. No it was just his imagination. But it was moving! Arg! He couldn't tell. He stood up, the noise of it grating against his ears and making his skin tingle. 

He wobbled, trying to find his balance, and had to put a hand on the near wall, the one that he thought had had a door in it originally, and stared at the wall in-front of him. He came close enough to touch this wall too and when he had decided that it wasn't moving, and that it really had just been his mind playing tricks on him, he turned to go back to his spot on the floor and found that suddenly the room was only 4 feet by 4 feet wide. 

He started to get the distinct feeling that he was screwed. 

"Kriffin' Force." he cursed under his breath, trying to still the panic that flared up in his chest. He was supposed to be used to tiny, confined spaces. He was an X-wing pilot for Force's sake! He lost the ability to fear small spaces a long time ago, or so he had thought. 

His breath started to come in short gasps, and he began to wish that Kylo Ren would come back. 

"Kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff." He sat on the floor and tried to compose himself. It wasn't working.

He buried his head against his knees and tried to block out the feeling of being choked by the shrinking box. He would be fine if he knew that there was a way out, but as far as he could tell, there wasn't. The dark metal walls were seamless. And he waited, and waited, and waited. Again.

After he wasn't sure how long, he was suddenly overcome with the need to escape, and he brought his knees underneath him and pounded his fists into the wall. 

They disappeared into the blackness and he lost his balance, falling through the wall and yelling in fright. This was messed up. 

He tumbled through empty blackness and hit the floor with a grunt of pain. He closed his eyes. That hurt worse than he had been expecting. He rolled onto his back and winced as he drew in a stinging breath. Landing face first must have broken at least one of his ribs. 

He opened his eyes and started, confusion muddling his brain. He was still in the cell? This was nauseating. Bile rose up in the back of his throat and he struggled to keep from throwing up. 

He was sweating, and he was gonna puke, and he was freaking out, and he was panicking, and he was kriffin fed up with being alone!

Poe shouted hopelessly into the lifeless room, "Stop messing with my head! I'm done with this! Do you hear me?! Done! Let me out!" 

The panic coursing through his blood intensified when there was no response except for his own voice echoing back at him in the metal box. He couldn't calm his breathing and after several moments he collapsed back into the floor, his legs no longer having the ability to hold his weight. 

On his knees in the middle of the room, he started crying. It was different from when he had cried in pain. This time it was silent. Tears making their way slowly down his unshaven cheeks.

He was alone, trapped in his own head, and no one was coming to save him. No one was even coming to torture him. He was, for possibly the first time in his life, willing to do anything, but he wasn't given the option. He just kept waiting, because nothing happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 
> 
> I feel like this would be terrifying. I have had dreams before like while I was sick with a fever and get can get pretty messed up. Poor Poe... 


End file.
